Fifty Shades of More
by CassieN1997
Summary: Christian's been so calm and controlled for the past twenty odd years, but will his children and secrecy within his family unravel the composure in the Grey household. Defiant teenage girls, curious teenage boys and a confused Ana all lead to turmoil within the Grey household.
1. The Kiss

I can hear the thumping of club music playing in the background as I gaze across the water. Where on earth did the past eighteen years go? **_Anastasia Grey, you are old. Accept it._**The thought of me being old constantly replaying. Teddy's just turned eighteen and off to college and Phoebe's got her head in what seems like every extra circular activity the school offers. My babies aren't babies anymore. I close my eyes cherishing the moment. A familiar hand grips onto my shoulder.

"Why, hello there Mr. Grey. May I help you?"

He pecks me on my shoulder

"Where did all the years go, baby? " he sighs

I place my hand over his, enjoying the company of my husband. We stand there gazing and thinking for several minutes. He holds out his hand gesturing we should probably return to the party. Once again, Christian has out done himself. At the entrance of the huge circus style tent are two fire dancers, as I enter inside I notice that the acrobats and aerial dancers have arrived.

In between the sea of teenagers, I spot Theodore dancing topless. I roll my eyes. Unlike his introverted father, Teddy's always showed off his looks. I know I am his mother so I'm obligated to say this but he truly is quite a catch. He's his father's son, smart, tall, muscular and a gentleman. Noticing me, he stops embarrassed and smiles. I continue to scan the room, in search of Phoebe. When I find her I gasp, looking up at Christian I see his mouth is set into a hardline. Directly ahead of us, Phoebe's lips are locked with Rhys Bennett. His blonde hair tussled as he grips onto her neck pushing his tongue further into her mouth, for a parent it's quite an unnerving sight.

I grab onto his arm knowing well what he plans to do

"Wait, Christian. Don't. She's growing up. Let her be, please, baby,"

"Anastasia! She's still a baby. I won't have it! Who is that anyway?" he says sternly keeping hold of our daughter as she continues her passionate kissing.

"Rhys Bennett, son of Tyler Bennett, one of my editors" I say as I look empathetically at my daughter knowing well how controlling and relentless her father can be. He pulls out of my hold and walks towards Phoebe, I look on waiting for the spectacle that's about to unfold. **_God dammit, Christian Grey! Let her go!_** My subconscious is screaming at me. I look up from my reverie to notice Phoebe smooching Rhys. Where's Christian? I weave my way back through the crowd and outside. I spot Christian on the phone.

"Rhys Bennett… No… Yes… That's all, Welch."

He runs his long fingers through his copper hair clearly exasperated. I walk behind him and hug him from behind.

"You know, after all these year's you really should be kinder to him," I say playfully

"He's my employee, not my friend." He snaps

And here comes mercurial fifty again.

"She's almost sixteen year's old, Christian,"

"She's still a fucking child, Anastasia! And if it weren't for me our children - yes children, they are children- would be running a muck!" shocked by his outburst I let go of him

"And what's that suppose to mean?" I say hurt as I feel tears beginning

"It means, our daughter's in there fornicating with some horny teenage bastard and you want me to let it go? Really, Anastasia, Really?!" he turns and walks back inside I lean against the side of the tent and hug myself trying to piece together what just happened and why Christian snapped. Five minutes later, Christian, Taylor and Phoebe emerge. I can hear them yelling

"Mom! He's crazy. He's fucking crazy."

"Phoebe Grey, don't you dare swear at me, young lady!"

Her big blue eyes are just staring at me and I'm standing there speechless.

"Mom! Say something, please? Help me,"

I can hear the strain in her voice as a single tear escapes down her cheek.

"Go home," I say as I use my thumb to wipe the tear off.

She turns around and walks to Taylor who's already holding her coat. Storming off she walks through the meadow shadowed by Taylor towards the house. Christian pulls out his cell phone, "Sawyer, make sure you keep the security team tight and tell Teddy to have a good time, tell Prescott and Tyson to keep an eye on him at all times."

Ending his call, he walks back towards me, running his hand through his hair. He puts out his hand, "Come," he commands. "Don't. " I snap in the same agitated manner as our daughter I walk towards the house. I walk up the stairs and down the corner, continually ignoring Christian.

"Ana, stop. Baby, please."

"Don't you, baby me Mr. Okay, so maybe what Phoebe was doing was a bit much but how dare you infer I'm a bad parent?" I scowl

"Ana, I, I didn't mean it. I was just . . . " he runs his fingers through his hair clearly resenting his earlier words.

"You think, I don't care about my children? You think, I want them to be wild and not care? You think I'm a bad parent? Being who we are, we denied those children a proper childhood from when they were born the least we could do is allow them an inch of normalcy. I know you didn't have a normal adolescence but our children deserve it. " I snap as tears begin to pool again

"Baby, no. I just, I was angry and upset. Ana, she's only sixteen. Far to young to be doing that sort of stuff. I just want to protect her," he brings his hand up to my chin and cups it bringing his lips down to mine he plants a chaste kiss.

"I'd better go check on her,"

Walking down the hallway the sound of an old familiar song, Sex On Fire, fills the hall. I open the door to see a despondent Phoebe. Curled into a ball crying into her pillow. I walk over the stereo and turn of the music.

"I'm sorry, baby girl. I'm sorry." I say as I crawl into the bed next to her wrapping my arms around her

"I liked him, Mom. I really liked him, and Daddy ruined that."

After thirty minutes of sobs, she drifts of to sleep. My cue that it's time to leave.

Paste your document here...


	2. Trouble

I walk down the hallway, passing Teddy's room I open the door and am greeted by Teddy laying spread eagle across his bed. His snore's almost echoing throughout the house. **_Boys _**my subconscious snarls. Closing the door I continue down the hallway, treading lightly in my pumps knowing that last night was a big night.

I reach Phoebe's room. Bringing my hand up to the handle to open the door, I stop mid action when I hear her speaking. I bring my ear up to the door. My subconscious seems appalled at my eavesdropping glaring at me down her half moon specs.

"No… I …Yeah.. I did it. I like it.I know he's gonna be pissed. Yeah, don't worry babe. Okay, Bye, "

What? Who's she talking too? Times like now I wish I had the nerve to be as invasive as Christian and find out what she's up too, but I know she'll hate me more than she already does if I do. I knock lightly on the door.

"Come in,"

I walk into her room and my jaw hit's the floor. Her long copper hair now gone and replaced with fire red and black hair. When on earth did she do this?

"Phoebe Grey, you're father is going to murder you, " I can't decipher whether I'm shocked, angry or happy. I mean it looks good but, wow.

"When did you even do this?" I say as I try to figure out why and when she did this.

"When you guys were asleep. I had bought the dye weeks ago but in rage, I just, did it," she shrugs

I should be angry. I know I should be but a feeling of guilt overrides my system and I can't help but feel guilty for denying her a normal life, where teenagers rebel and stupid things and make mistakes.

"You like it, Mom? Please, I need someone on my side when I step out this door and Dad sees," she says

"When I see what?" and stepping through the door is Christian and when his eyes lock onto Phoebe I see the anger grow inside of him. His eyes narrow as he walks, more like stalks, forward toward Phoebe as she stands there trying to gage his reaction. He runs his fingers through it and she visibly tenses out of fear.

A suspenseful silence fills the room, Phoebe and I both stare at Christian trying to figure out whether he's going to scream the house down or punish her. Without saying a word, he walks over to desk and picks up her phone.

"You won't be using this anytime soon, " he says sternly

"Dad, please!" she begs

"Don't continue to defy me!" and the yelling match begins

"Where's you laptop?" he asks

She just shakes her head and storms off into the bathroom, locking the door. I walk over to Christian. He brings his hand off.

"Not, now Ana. Don't. If you won't let me punish her than I need to take this stuff away to discipline her. "

I back off and sit on the edge of the bed, whilst he searches her room for the laptop. I hear a faint buzzing noise coming from the ensuite bathroom. Christian's too fixating on finding her laptop, so I stand and walk to the bathroom door.

"Phoebe? Open the door please, darling," I say as kindly as possible

The door opens.

"If he doesn't fucking like my hair, I might as well not have any,"

And standing there in front of me, she stands with an electric clipper grasped in her hand. What the heck has she done! Teenage hormones, that's why she's being so dramatic – It's all a phase, It's all a phase, I repeat the mantra several times

Within moments, all her hair is strewn across the bathroom floor. She looks at her now- buzz cut in the mirror, admiring her handy work.

She storms out of the bathroom towards her father. I feel helpless. Two dominant figures in one room both trying to be assertive and in control it makes for a popcorn moment. He watches her as she walks out of the bathroom. He looks stunned. A devious smile creeps up her face. I'm scared. I'm legitimately scared of what's going to happen next. He walks over to her and with one swift movement hit's her across the face.

I run over to them.

"Christian, what the fuck are you doing!"

Tears begin to stream down her face. Teddy's now entered the room. I can only assume he's been awoken by the screaming. Running over to his father, he grabs him by the shoulder and moves him away.

"Dad, calm down!" Christian sits on the edge of the bed, confused by what's just happened.

I stand there with Phoebe in my arms trying to calm her. Breaking out of my embrace she walks over to her bedside table. I assume she's giving in to give him her laptop. She picks something up out of the draw and throws it at Christians face. He brings up his arms just quick enough to stop it from hitting him. She runs out of the room. Teddy following. I want to go after her but I'm stunned. I bend down to pick up the box.

Condoms, my daughters having sex. Christian's eyes begin to soften and I hug him as I see his heart breaking through his eyes. I bring my arms up around his neck and sit next to him embracing him. I feel a tear fall onto my shirt but they aren't mine and soon he begins to sob. This is a side of Christian I've never witnessed before. Soon, broken by the events of the morning and my husband in tears, the emotions become too much and we sit there crying in each others arms unaware of what to do next. What the fuck do we do now? Is it my fault? All these questions invade my subconscious. What do I do? Oh Fifty, Fifty, Fifty.


	3. Meltdown

**NEWSFLASH: Grey daughter gone bald! New fashion trend or just mental breakdown? **

You know, it's one thing for the tabloids to write about Christian but Phoebe? God they really are relentless .I look up from the magazine. Teddy's playing pool with his friends and Phoebe's outside with her friends. Everything seems so normal on the outside, but my family's falling apart. My children grew up and they changed – so much so that I wonder if I can still call them my children when today it feels like I know nothing about them.

Christian's in New York for the weekend dealing with some merger or something. God, how did it all get so fucked up!

"Oi, Grey. Why the long face?"

I turn around and to my surprise it's Kate. I turn around and lunge at her.

"I thought you were in Bali, still? Where are Elliot and Ava and Bronte?" I ask trying to choke back tears

"They're still there. Christian told Elliot above everything going on. Is she okay?"

"I don't know, Kate. She won't talk to anyone. She looks happy but she isn't. I don't know anymore,"

"Aunt Kate!"

Phoebe runs into the room and hugs Kate. Kate smiles and returns the hug

"Well, that's a new look," says Kate inquisitively

Phoebe frowns and looks down at the ground.

"Hey," Kate lifts Phoebe's chin up " I like it," a smile returns to Phoebe's face

"Hey, Mom. Can Kara and I go shopping?"

"You're grounded though, so no." Kate kicks me in the shin. What was that for?

I look over to her mouthing _let her go, Grey!_

"But your father's not here and you've been good for a few days, so sure, but Prescott must stay with you!" I command

"Yes, Ma'am"

She walks off giggling hand in hand with Kara. She looks so innocent today. I've kind of gotten use to the hair, I guess but I still don't like the thought of her being so unstable and refusing to see Dr. Flynn. Kate walks off through the house doing god knows what- when she returns she's holding a pair of black pumps, a white camisole and jeans.

"Smile, Grey. Put these on and let's go out,"

"Guessing you don't like the outfit then?"

"Step ford Wife doesn't suit you," she says looking up and down at me. I laugh. It's good to have her back, some normalcy, and some comfort. I look at myself in the reflection of the glass across from the table. I've definitely changed over the years. My hairs in a perfect bun with drop earring and a pink pastel shift dress. I get dressed into the clothes, Kate chose. I suppose this is good right, I get to unwind, right?

Thirty minutes later, we arrive at a restaurant, _Café Arabesque_. It's serene and tranquil looking out on the water. I begin to daydream. Dreams of Teddy's second birthday and he and Christian just sitting there for hours playing with the trains, Phoebe's fifth birthday when she cried because Christian wouldn't go on the jumping castle with her.

"Earth to Ana? "

"I'm sorry. Lot's on your mind aye?"

"I guess,"

"Fess up, Grey."

And bit-by-bit I begin to let go and tell Kate everything that's happened. She just sits there and nods, listening and absorbing. It feels so good just to be let it all-go. I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm worried and I don't know what to do. Who's it better of to have hate me, Christian or Phoebe? I look over at my watch. Holy shit! It's six o'clock! We've been here for three hours.

"We'd better go, Kate" I gesture. I walk and pay for the bill

On my return she's sitting there with a grin on her face, what is she concocting? I narrow my eyes at her playfully. Grabbing my hand she runs me outside towards the car.

"You're right, Grey. Let's go! "

On the sign above the door it reads, _Darlings_, in neon. "Kate, you've got to be kidding me, first, this is a gay bar, and secondly, I'm too old to be here!" "Firstly, Grey, exactly so possessive Mr. Grey won't give a shit, and secondly, live a little!" A bar, really, Kate! I roll my eyes at her. Leading me inside we sit on the barstools. The sound of house music playing in the background, within moments Kate's already ordered two cosmos.

After a few more downed drinks, and chatting with Kate. We hit the dance floor. Awkwardly dancing, we giggle and fall and laugh and ultimately, it's just a good time. The urge to pee happens to interrupt my failed dancing. Leaning over to Kate, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Walking slightly lopsided, I manage to head in the right direction. The bar's kind of retro. Neon lights, leather booths, and gay pride flag's everywhere, it's sweet. Eventually, I find the restroom.

I walk back to Kate with an infectious smile on my face. I'm happy for the first time in a long time I'm happy. "Oh shit! I'm sorry!" " It's cool, don't sweat it," God, that would be right clumsy grey knocking people over. Looking up, I stop. Holy shit. To the left of me, there are two boys locked lips; one boy is sitting astride the other. Kate see's me with my jaw on the floor and walks towards me before locking onto what I'm gazing at.

"Is that . . . "?

I nod.

"That's Teddy. "


	4. Grey Matter

"Kate, let's go," I say

"But, Ana,"

"Kate, I said let's fucking go!" I yell

Shit, I didn't realize I had raised my voice so loudly. People are staring. I look back towards where I'd seen my son kissing the other boy and his eyes are wide, his mouth is quaking and I see a tear escaping. He's shaking his head. My insides begin to turn to jelly. I grab Kate's hand and just run straight out the door.

Once outside I put my hands on my knees, bending over trying to take deep breaths exasperated by what I just saw. He's gay? Teddy's gay? I always thought . . . Hell who knows what I think anymore! God, I begin to cry and regardless of where I am. I drop and just begin to sob. Kate picks me up and leads me to the car.

There's silence all the way back to the house. All I want to do is sleep. Sleep away the sorrows. It's fine, if he's gay. I mean, he's my baby boy no matter what, but god, Phoebe now Theodore. Do I even know them anymore? Who are they? What's Christian going to say? God! My subconscious is screaming questions.

We walk upstairs, passing Phoebe's room. I slightly calm at the sight of her asleep.

"Stay? Please," I ask Kate

She nods.

Taking off my pumps and jeans. I slip on a satin nightdress. The feel of the satin is smooth against my skin and it makes me think of Christian. All I want right now is him with me. Kate crawls into the bed and I crawl in next to her.

"I feel like we're kids again," she giggles

"God, I wish we still were, "

"It'll be okay, Grey. "

"I hope so, Kate. I hope so… "

I open my eyes. It's still dark but I feel a presence. Looking up, it's him. Kate stirs beside me.

"Ahem," he coughs

"Threesomes aren't really my thing," I giggle at his remark

"Oh, don't get your hopes up, Christian. I'll go sleep downstairs."

Kate rises out of the bed leaving the room. He takes off his jeans and puts on his pj's; all the while I sit watching the serenity of my husband, scared as to how long it might last. He gets into the bed, leaning over he kisses me on the forehead. I ponder on whether or not I should tell him about Teddy - More fucking secrets – no, Ted will tell him when he's ready. Hell! Technically Ted hasn't even told me.

"How's she?"

"She's okay, for now but, I think she isn't our only concern, Christian"

"Let's not stress. We'll figure this out. I promise,"

He kisses me chastely on the lips. I decide I want more. Returning a kiss more passionately, we begin to spark. I roll on top of him deepening the kiss bringing my hands into his hair as he moves his hands down my back. Our sparks soon turn into an inferno as we wrestle delivering passionate kisses to and fro. One thing that's changed with time, we're still intimate and passionate but it's the feelings and connection in the simplest sexual endeavors that pleases us.

"Wait, I hear something," I say

"I'll go check it" he replies

I lay patiently waiting for Christian to return. After several minutes, he doesn't come back. I decide to go check out what's holding him. I'm pleased to find that sometime during the night Teddy's returned home, but my heart beat quickens as I near Phoebe's room. The light is on and the door ajar.

I open the door and Christian is sitting on the seat adjacent to her bed staring blankly at our daughter. He raises his hand in it holding a razor. I gasp at the sight, nearing our daughter, my heart seems to have sunk to the bottom of my chest cavity. I remove the blanket slightly and her arms bandaged.

"They weren't deep but I bandaged them anyway," he whispers

"I, I . . . She was fine today. I don't understand." I sink onto the edge of her bed, as I do he rises. Moving to her wardrobe he pulls out a suitcase, I immediately know what he's doing and begin to help.

"What. . . What's going on?" She stirs

"Phoebe, darling," I walk over to her side bending to her level rubbing her head gently " Come with me," her gaze moves to the suitcase in her father's hands

"No. "

"Come, sweety, please," the need in my voice becomes more evident

"I'm not crazy. I won't go to Dr. Flynns,"

"Phoebe, you are going," he emphasizes the word are, suggesting no other options. At his wit's ends, Christian walks towards Phoebe and with one swift motion has her in his arms. She begins to struggle out of his hold, punching him, kicking him, screaming. I see the hurt in his eyes.

I carry the suitcase down the stairs following him outside to where Taylor already has the car waiting. "It's for the best, darling," she doesn't acknowledge me.

"Phoebe Grace Grey, you are not throwing your life away. This is a phase. You will snap out of this. You will return to normalcy." It sounds more like a command rather than a plea for our daughter's well being

"I hate you," and with that my heart can no longer take the emotional strain. I've broken.


	5. Surprise!

Christian's in the study on the phone to Dr. Flynn, I'm sitting on the couch attempting to read a manuscript, but my mind keeps drifting to the images of Teddy kissing that boy and Phoebe lying in front of me wrist bandaged and cut. So much drama, so little time – I wonder if I was this hard to deal with when I was a teenager, the thoughts of my teen years make me giggle.

Teddy still hasn't told me or confronted me since the incident, maybe it wasn't him or maybe he didn't know it was I. A feeling of fear washes over me again. God, how will Christian feel about all this? He's been so mercurial since Phoebe left with Dr. Flynn. It's like he thinks all this is my fault. Is it? I mean, I'm the adult. I should have controlled this shit.

I hear Christian finishing on the phone. I try to compose myself.

"How is she?" I ask

"She's doing okay," he snaps

"What's up with you?"

"What's up with me? Really, Anastasia?" he says mockingly

"Does everything you say have to be so fucking cryptic Christian?"

He stops in his tracks and turns to face me. My heartbeat quickens.

"You know what Anastasia sometimes, I think you're more like her than you think,"

My brain shuts down as I immediately know he's referring to Ella and with a singular movement I slap him across the face. He brings his hand up to his cheek, visibly shocked by my actions.

"You cold bastard,"

I storm off, purposely shoulder charging him as I do. I pick up my handbag and walk outside. I drive. I just drive, with no direction. Replaying what happened over and over again. My phone's rung multiple times but I'd rather not answer. Of all the things he could say right now he compared me to her, his mother. _Don't cry, Grey. _I repeat the mantra several times. With all the bullshit going on at the moment I want to be strong, hell, I need to be strong. Who would of thought that Anastasia Grey would end up being the sane one.

I've driven for hours. Finding a small roadside bar, I decide to stop and have something to eat. I'm starving. It's cute- wooden floorboards, screens showing all types of football games. I walk over to the bar and sit on one of the stools.

"What can I get ya?" says the bartender. She's dressed in a black shirt and jeans and looks barely old enough to be working in a bar.

"Pretzels and a water, thanks,"

She returns with some pretzels and water. I take a sip and sigh as the cool, refreshing liquid slides down my throat.

"Tough night, aye?"

"Ha. I wish. Tough few months, actually,"

"That bad? I'm Paula,"

"Anastasia," I say politely

"My daughter's mentally unstable, my husband's a raging lunatic and my son's a closet gay," I blurt out before I can stop myself. Why am I telling a complete stranger this?

She walks over towards me and leans on to the bar. From behind the bar, she pulls out a bottle of whiskey and shot glass.

"You need this, trust me,"

"I'm driving,"

"Don't worry, one won't hurt,"

I down the shot. Within minutes, I'm relaxed and the stories start to roll out, Paula just glaring at me attentively, slightly entertained by it all. Bartenders really are unofficial therapist.

"Babe, I'm only twenty-two. So, I can't say I know how ya feeling. This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes; it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about."

"Did you just quote Marilyn Monroe?" I ask inquisitively

"Oh, you knew." She responds embarrassed

I giggle.

"Thanks, Paula." I smile

"No worries, sweetie. Oh, Anastasia, I think you have a visitor. There's a guy on the table over there that's been staring at you for the past half an hour."

I turn around scanning the room for the person she's referring to. It's Christian.

"Fucking stalker," I say turning back on my seat to face, Paula.

"I guess, that's him?"

"That would be he, "

"Hate to burst your bubble sweetie, but he's coming over here,"

From behind I feel him bring his arms over my back to hug me. I push them off. The last thing I want right now is this man to touch me. I feel his body still near me. He sits on the bar stool next to me.

"I'll have beer, thanks." He says to Paula

"Ha."

I laugh a little inside. You go Paula! For someone I've only just met she's putting on quite a front against the notorious, Christian Grey. He swivels on his stool to face me and his stare is irritating.

"Ana, I'm sorry," he whispers bringing his mouth to my cheek. I turn my head in disgust.

"Please, " he begs

"You hate me don't you?" he says looking down at his knotted fingers

"No, I don't Christian. I don't hate you. I love you but right now, I'm hurt and angry and frankly, just, fucking pissed. I tried. I tried to give those children a normal life. They're teenagers, Christian. Their going to have problems and whatever fucking happens, as their mother, I'm going to be there for them!" I snap

Paula claps in the background, Christian turns and death stares her.

"Don't you have a fucking job to do, bartender?"

Very purposely she itches her nose using her middle finger, I smile at her.

"Ana, I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything. I want you to help me help our children! Phoebes mentally ill and to your surprise, Theodore's keeping secret's too," My voice softens "Christian, we need to help our children. They need us." And for once in my life, I feel strong and confident like Joan of Ark. Gone are the days of the meek, Anastasia Grey. I clasp my hand around his neck and kiss him on the forehead.

"Let's go home,"


	6. Proof is in the Pudding

"So, what now Anastasia?"

I hear him, but it only makes me tighten my arms as I hug myself looking out the window, as I mindlessly drift in and out of thought. The sound of the wind is soothing. The sky is clear and all seems perfect. My daughter is on the brink of insanity, my son doesn't trust me and my husband and I are in a place we've never been before. I don't even know what we are.

I feel his presence as he brings his arms around the nape of my neck and slides them down my torso to rest on my waist. He plants a kiss on the back of my head. He begins to trail kisses down the side of my face and across my collarbone. I turn and grab his face in between my hands. His grey eyes staring directly into mine.

"No. Christian, you and I have never fought like this. Our family is falling apart and I can't sit here and do nothing about it. Phoebe's coming home and Teddy. . . " Shit, where has Teddy been lately? I've been too caught up to care. "Teddy needs to talk to us. I know something, but it's not my secret to tell."

His mouth sets into a hard line as his eyes narrow impassively.

"Anastasia, what do you know?" his voice is stern

I close my eyes and repress the urge to tell him. I have a duty to keep this secret for my son and when he's ready he will tell us. "God damn it, Ana! That's our son! Tell me!" "You're right, Christian. He is our son and as his mother, I'm protecting him by not telling you." I snap. He runs his fingers through his hair clearly enraged. My heartbeat starts to quicken. The Fifty today, is becoming more and more like the Fifty of my past. I start to shake slightly at the idea of him, hurting me again. I know he loves me and I love him, but the memories of him belting me in that room at Escala. It's all too much. Filled with anger he picks up a vase and throws it. I gasp in shock. He stops and stares at himself in the mirror. What on earth is he doing? He falls to his knees and places his head in his hands and begins to sob. Almost immediately, I jump up and run to his side. His copper hair is a tangled mess, sticking with his tears.

"Anastasia, I don't know what to do. All these years, I've been controlled and calm, but now, all I want to do is punish you for defying me and I want the truth. I need trust! My family is all I have, Ana. Please, tell me."

I pull him into my arms and his sobs. Vulnerable Fifty – a shade I've seen only once before, when he thought I was leaving him all those years ago.

Thirty minutes have passed and we're still on the floor of the bedroom. His head is on my chest. We're both lost and confused and not sure where to go or what to do. I can't handle the secrets anymore. Secrets are tearing this family apart. I'm going to tell Christian. It's the only way. My subconscious can't deal with the guilt any longer.

"Mom! Dad!"

It's Teddy. I rise and help Christian up. "I'm going to go have a shower," he says. "I'll meet you downstairs when you've finished," he pecks me on the lips. "No more secrets, Ana,"

I walk down the stairs and see Teddy. He still ignoring the incident at the bar. "Hey Mom," he smiles, "Hey Sweety," I reply. He goes on to talk about college's he's looking in to and how he wants to study sociology and psychology. Christian's no where to be found. He's probably dealing with business. I can't do this anymore.

"Sweety, no. I can't pretend like this didn't happen. I saw you,"

"What do you mean, Mom?"

I grasp onto his hand and look him in the eyes.

"You know, I'll love you no matter what, honey. You're my son." I try to hold back the tears but one escapes down my cheek. I turn my head trying to hide my weakness

"I was at the bar, Teddy. _Darlings." _At the mention of the name, his eyes widen and he gasps. I can see the fear wash over him.

"Theodore Raymond Grey, please, don't lie to me. Lies and secrets are destroying this family, please, Teddy. " I beg.

He sighs and looks down at his knotted fingers. I grab on to his hand reminding him that I love him.

After a deep breath, he begins to speak, "His name is Elijah. He's funny and he's smart and he helped me accept this. He helped me accept that . . ." he takes a deep breath, "I like boys, Mom." I smile at him, lean forward and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you, Theodore," "I love you, Mom."

"My son . . ." from around the corner walks Christian. I stand up in front of Theodore. " My boy. . ."

"Dad, look. Please, I . . ."

"You knew, Anastasia. You knew all along and you didn't tell me."

"Christian, it wasn't my secret to tell and besides you're hardly one to be able to judge another's sexual preferences and lifestyles," Shit. I shouldn't have just said that in front of Teddy. Christian looks mad. Teddy looks petrified.

"You're only a boy, Teddy! How could you know what the fuck you like?" he yells, inching close to Teddy's face. " You're my wife, Ana. I expected you to tell me, so we could help our children!"

"Dad, I'm not sick. I'm not like Phoebe. I don't need to be helped!"

"Shut up, Theodore!"

"No Dad! You know why we don't tell you anything because of this! You intimidate people purposefully. If you don't get your way, you hurt people. I was afraid, Dad and so is, Phoebe."

"You're a child, Theodore. Be quiet!"

"I might be a child, Dad, but at least, I'm not that blinded to notice what's going on with Phoebe."

I'm shellshocked. The tension and testosterone in the air is so thick I could slice it with a knife.

"You're sister's sick, son. Leave her be." I say softly

"You're right Mom. She is, but you know why she's trying to kill herself?" Christian exchanges a confused look with me and he begins to look down at the floor shaking his head, "Really, Dad? You had no idea? Why don't you tell Mom, how you took her to the doctor's, Dad? How you made her do it? How you told her if she didn't you'd punish it out of her? I'm sorry Mom. . ." I look at Christian trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. "I'm sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry," said Christian

Teddy turns to look at me straight in the eyes as Christian stood back immobilized "Mom, she's pregnant, well, was."


	7. Elijah Hart

**Hi Guys! So firstly, thank you for all your reviews, follows and favourites! This is my first time on fanfiction to be completely honest and I'm loving what you guys have said. Firstly, if you're reading my story there are some things that are badly written. I'll admit but that's because I assume if you're reading a story about Fifty Shades you have a background on the characters and their tendencies. I want to apologise for the horrible writing in regards, to punctuation and the standard. I've been so focus on just getting this idea out I've been neglecting the quality of the story. Punctuation wise, well, English isn't actually my first language. I'm Balinese and since I've learned English, punctuation has always been a really hard thing for me to figure out. Enjoy Chapter 7. I've really tried to focus on quality this chapter. x Cassie**

I couldn't think.

For a moment, the world stopped around me. My mind stilled as all the drama of the past few weeks began to make sense – Phoebe with the condoms & Phoebe's outburst. Thousands of scattered thoughts ran through my mind trying to piece them together to make sense. Christian was denied a childhood. He fights for his children's right to one but this was too far. No wonder why Phoebe threw the box of condoms at him – he deserved it – he deserved to hurt inside. The pale walls seemed to be enclosing around me as I struggled to contain the building rage inside me. Lately it seems like the only thing I want to do is hit or yell at Christian. My heart lurched at the thoughts.

"Mom. . . Mom!" My eyes blinked, staring wildly around the room as I regain my thoughts. Christian and Teddy coming into focus. Teddy's eyes were wide as he awaited a response from me. Moments passed when all I was doing was staring between to the two Grey boys. Theodore is first. He's always first.

"Thank you, Teddy. I love you, darling. Now please leave and we'll continue this lately," I say sweetly, moving forward to kiss him on the cheek. He visibly relaxes, picking up his jacket off the bench top, he glares at Christian. I smile as he leaves. I stay silent waiting for the slam of the front door.

The panic that had only recently dwindled had returned as my heartbeat quickened. I can't talk to him right now, if I do my passion and emotions will turn into a fiery ball of heated words. What was I to do? Very mundanely I walked over to the fridge and withdrew a bottle of water purposely ignoring Christian whilst doing so.

"Ana…" His voice was empty. I sat down on the barstool in the kitchen. I casually pick up the magazine with my daughter on the front cover, running my fingers along the image of Phoebe. I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. A habit I picked up from Christian over the years. _What if that was me? _ The question burned through me.

"Ana!" he hollered

"Don't you dare shout at me Christian Trevelyan Grey!" I impulsively respond

"I'm sorry," Naturally that's all he ever seems to be able to articulate when he's fucked up, I'm sorry. "I'm not the one who deserves the apology, Christian." I intentionally emphasise each word.

"She's a child, Ana. She's too young, firstly to be having sex and secondly to be pregnant."

"Who the fuck are you to judge a person's sexual lifestyles? " I scoff. Christian's eyes widen in disbelief. "Christian, you're right she is too young, but that was her decision. Not yours to force her into. My daughter needs my help." " You mean, she needs our help," "No, Christian. You've done enough,"

If there was any one capable of knocking down the formidable Christian Grey, it was I and by the look on his face and the limpness of his body, I just had. I exhale a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. I walk past him, picking up my handbag near the door, he runs after me as I'm about to turn the door knob. "Ana, you're leaving me aren't you." "No, Christian. I'm not. I'm going to help my children. God dammit, Asshole!" the composure I once had is now gone as the rage begins to take over. "Go see your son, sort out this shit. This is your fault, Grey. Not mine," I knew every word I was saying was putting me at considerable risk but when it comes to my children it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I walk down the cobblestone pathway. The sound of my stiletto's echoed every step I took. Saab or Audi? Saab- the comfort of that car is what I need right now. I step into the car without looking back at Christian who's most likely staring at me from a far. I drive and I know exactly where I'm going.

"Oh hey, Ana. What can I . . . " she doesn't finish her sentence as I slam my handbag down on the bar in noticeable fury.

"Bourbon now, Paula."

She very quickly pours the drink without obligation. As I feel the smooth liquor pouring down my throat all I can think of is the look in the eyes of Theodore's face.

"What's got your panties in a twist?" she says as she pours another shot. I very willingly imbibe it. I roll my eyes, hopefully a clear indication of why I'm pissed.

"Oh right, Mr arrogant." I laugh at her nickname for him. Yet again, I tell Paula more than I should've, but for some reason I trust her. After a lot of nodding and yes' she says something.

"We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences but it does not mean we're evil or that we cannot be trusted afterward,"

"And who might've sad that?" I smile sarcastically.

She giggles. "Dammit Ana, caught me out again. I believe a poet by the name of Alison Croggon, not too sure though."

I look down at the watch, ironically, the same watch Christian gave me on our honeymoon many years ago. It's late, but I don't want to go home. Not yet. I say goodbye to Paula, thanking her for everything. I now consider her a friend and having Christian Grey as a husband it's hard to have friends. I get back into the Saab and begin my drive again, instead of driving home, I drive somewhere else, a place that holds so many memories both painful and fond. The ivory tower still has kept its sheik demeanour.

Escala is as homely as ever right now. After entering several codes, I'm in the elevator heading up to the penthouse. Right now, it's the best thing for me to be alone. I need to think without distraction. The lights are on. Both fear and confusion wash over me. I walk inside. The fire's lit, but there's no sign of anyone nearby.

"Mom?"

I turn around to see the face of Theodore. He smiles at me.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was scared to come home, Mom. I thought Dad hated me."

"Your father would never hate you, Teddy."

He grasp my hand and leads me to the U shaped white couch. Sitting down he embraces me in a hug, he begins to shake slightly. "What's wrong, Teddy?"

"Mom, I want you to meet someone,"

I raise an eyebrow muddled by what he's saying. Who on earth would he want me to meet?

"Hi, Mrs Grey. I'm Elijah Hart."


	8. Truth

_**Thanks for the reviews guys! I hope you're liking the story. The entire story is kind of metaphoric of the complexity that is Christian. I'm trying to mimic his complexity in a family situation. Throwing in the same adversities that are within the trilogy e.g. pregnancy & secrecy. Elijah and Theodore's relationship is also kind of symbolic of Ana and Christian's when they first met: the meek girl meets the determined self assured guy? **_

_**Anyway, Enjoy x**_

_Oh, so you're the guy my son's in love with. _Internally I scowl my subconscious. He has a meek build and brown coiffed hair. He's dressed in a blue washed out dress shirt and tanned slacks. He looks very classy and older than Teddy. His eyes are a stunning variegation of yellows and greens. He's the complete opposite of the rugged, unshaven and muscular demeanor of my son.

Theodore stands and walks beside Elijah and places his hand around his waist and pulls him in close. I notice that Elijah is about half a head shorter than Theodore. Elijah looks up at Teddy and gives him an appreciative look, like Teddy's just saved him from the firing line. God, I'm not that scary am I? I rise from the couch.

"Nice to meet you, Elijah. Let's have dinner. Would you like to join us?" He nods in agreement. I ordered some Thai food considering there's not much to eat in the relatively unused apartment. In between the food, I manage to ask a few questions, regardless of the look on Theodore's face every time I do.

"So, Elijah, tell me a bit about yourself,"

"Well, I'm an aspiring doctor. I have two siblings – Hope & Renaissance but we just call her Renai. I grew up in Florida before moving here when I was about twelve. My father is a businessman and my mother's a pediatrician."

"Both very respectable trades," I resist the urge to ask anyone questions about Elijah or Teddy's sexuality even though the questions are starting to burn inside me. Elijah's phone begins to ring; I recognize the song as Delta Goodrem's – Dancing with a broken heart.

"Excuse me for a moment, Mrs. Grey," he walks away and stands near the fire. It's now Theodore and I alone and I decide this is the moment to pounce and rid him of his anxiety. "Theodore, he's great. You're great and you guys are great together," I smile at him. I'm surprised when he leaps from the barstool and hugs me.

"But honey, when did you know you were, you know . . . gay? " I ask raising an eyebrow. He frowns. Picking up his fork he begins to play with his food. "It just sort of happened, Mom. I always knew Elijah. We were friends. I mean, I never was attracted to a girl. I felt nothing. Elijah and I started to hang out a lot and it just happened I guess. We were sitting in the park and there was this vibe – it was electrifying and . . . he kissed me. At first, I was shocked, but then, I realized I wanted this. It felt right. So I returned the kiss. I feel whole now, Mom."

A wry smile crept up on his face. His cheeks became the color of his pastel pink polo shirt as he begins to blush. I was happy. I can tell that he's happy and at the end of the day, what else could I want?

I've been avoiding look at my phone all night. I decide it's probably appropriate to check it. To my surprise there's no missed calls from Christian. I look down at my phone disappointingly. I kind of hoped he'd call or text. I wanted him to apologize.

"Mom, Are you okay?"

"Yeah, son. Just your father that's all."

"Look Mom, I'm sorry about Phoebe. That wasn't my secret to tell. I can tell you everything if you'd like?"

"Mrs. Grey, I can leave if you like?" I hadn't even noticed that Elijah had returned from his phone call. "You can stay if you'd like," I respond. Did I want to know more? Did I want to know about my daughter being pregnant and my husband forcing her to abort? I'd spent the last few hours trying to avoid this discussion. "Please, son."

"Rhys Bennett was the father. She was so scared, Mom. She ran to me for help. She never told Dad. Dad forced her to abort the child about a week prior to my party."

"So, if she never told your father, how'd he know?"

He rolls his eyes at me emphasizing the stupidity within my question. It's Christian we're talking about. He's the ultimate stalker control freak.

"Her throwing the condoms at Dad, her making out with Rhys at the party – they were all ways of her trying to hurt Dad. She knew Mom . . . about me. She's my best friend and my sister, Mom. I don't hate Dad, but I'm pissed about what he did to her."

His eyes softened. The innocent Theodore and Phoebe I once knew were now gone for good. I suppose, that's growing up though. In the background, I notice Elijah's gone to pick up his tanned trench coat of the bench.

"I think, I'd better go baby. You and your Mom need time," he leans down and kisses Theodore on the cheek. "Bye, baby." Elijah leaves and walks through to the foyer. Theodore's eyes never leaving the sight of Elijah.

"Your father is one obstinate son of a bitch but he loves us. Intimidation and taking control of overwhelming situation is the only way he knows how to protect us," I broke down those walls many years ago. I had assumed we'd overcome them. I should've been prepared for their reprisal. All the drama of recent times, is a new shade of Fifty.

"Mom, should we go home?"

"No, son. Let's go somewhere else."

"I want to see her, Flynn. "

"Ana, I think you should come back tomorrow."

"No!"

Theodore steps in between Dr. Flynn and I, bulking his chest like a gorilla putting on a show of dominance. Dr. Flynn succumbs to the intimidation. The door is ajar. I see Phoebe asleep on the bed. She looks so peaceful as the faint light illuminating her beautiful complexion. Someone's inside but I can't tell who, all I can see is them holding onto her hand. Who is it? I step closer to the door for further inspection. Shit. It's Christian. I step back from the door and turn to Theodore mouthing the words _Your father! _Teddy stiffens at the thought and I begin to panic. Do I go? Do I stay?

"Mom, go inside."

"Let's just go, Teddy."

"Mom!"

I turn around and feel like I've just hit a wall. Christian's standing in the doorway and I've just ran into his chest. I can feel the muscle beneath me. "Hi, baby."


	9. Escape

**Hey Guys, **  
**Well, for those that you that read my note ****_YES_****, I was intending on stopping this story. I felt like there wasn't alot of interest in it and I too was losing motivation to continue to write it. For those of you that didn't and was wondering where was chapter nine, well, I ended up deleting that note after receiving multiple messages begging me to continue. I succumbed to your needs guys, so here is the ****_REAL_**** chapter nine. Enjoy x**

"Christian, I'm not talking to you. Let me through now, please," I say try to say it with enough conviction to make myself as intimidating as his presence but I feel like I'm failing. Moment's pass and Christian is still standing in front of me, planted like a brick wall. Theodore steps in between his father and myself. "Dad, she said move."

These were the first words Theodore had said to Christian since the argument. What will Christian say? To my surprise Christian steps aside and looks to the ground as though he's just been wounded. Theodore leads the way into the room.

Phoebe Grey – Dr. John Flynn was written on a piece of paper at the foot of her bed. The room was simple. The walls were a pastel yellow and cream. Her had begun to grow back. I sit down in the chair that Christian was sitting in. I clasp my fingers around her hands raising it to my mouth; I kiss her knuckles, my poor Phoebe.

In anguish I close my eyes as a single tear runs down my cheek. I dread to think what could've happen to her and what she's been through. Right now, all I want is answers. Not from her or Teddy but from Christian. He's always been so controlling, calculating and protective but in recent times, he's taken that to new extremes. I vowed to stay with the man I love no matter what, but at the moment that's becoming increasingly difficult. The thought of leaving seems like a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My children need me. They need stability. Stay or Go?

Phoebe stirring around on her bed soon interrupts my reverie; she begins to thrash violently in her bed. Soon she's screaming, " No Dad. No! NO!" Christian and Teddy come running into the room as I stare wide-eyed and scared at the sight of my daughter. She's sitting up on her bed. Her messy hair is clinging to her face in every direction. Her breathing is erratic and her heartbeat fast. "Shit," Christian exclaims. He soon disappears with Dr. Flynn.

"You never told me she was having night terrors, John!" He raises his voice

Phoebe's in silence as she looks between all the faces in the room. I move onto the bed and put her head on my chest. She nuzzles her head and begins to sob. "I'm sorry, Mommy. " She hasn't called me Mommy since she was about ten years old. I hug her harder. Christian moves over to the bed on the opposite side and begins to sit down. Shockingly Phoebe retreats and turns her head defensively.

"Stay the fuck away from me!" she screams

My eardrums are ringing from her outburst. "Phoebe, I . . . " he begins to stutter unable to come up with an appropriate response. I point to the door and narrow my eyes at him indicating for him to do as she says. I know he's hurt but what the fuck can he expect? Who in their right mind would force their daughter into an abortion?

Phoebe soon drifts back into sleep. Theodore's with John having some coffee whilst Christian looks on at his daughter and myself on the bed. I decide it's time to leave. Christian rises as I do, "Time to go home?" he says " Yeah. I'll drive my car," That was lie. "Christian, you go ahead and I'll meet you at home. I want to talk to John for a moment," he nods. When Christian leaves and I see his car pull away, I decide now's the time to tell Teddy.

"Teddy, I'm going. I'm going to go stay with Carla and Bob in Georgia for a while," his face reveals his shocks. I too am shocked at my decision, but I know I need to. I need to take my son and get as far away from Christian as possible.

"What about Phoebe?" he says moving his head in her direction. "She's safe here with John, darling." "What about clothes and all that, Mom?" I'm relieved by the fact that at least Teddy is considering this. "We still have some clothes at Escala that we can get," If I go home now, I know that Christian will try everything to stop me and the look on his face will be my undoing. I can't go home. "Mom, I can't leave Elijah," "Fine, bring him too." Wait, what? What did I just say? Theodore and I drive back to Escala. We pack whatever clothing we've left in the apartment. Whilst Theodore's gone to Elijah's to help Elijah pack I call my Mother. After explaining to her the recent events she's in disbelief.

"What the fuck, Anastasia!"

"Yeah I know, Mom. Hey Mom, I was kind of wondering if you could give Teddy and I a place to stay?"

"Wait, your coming to Georgia? Good! Get away from that asshole you call a husband!"

"Mom . . . please."

"Yeah, fine. Whatever darling. I miss you all. I'll tell Bob,"

Theodore's arrived back to Escala with Elijah. I notice Teddy's changed clothes. He looks much more mature than usual and looks elegant. He's wearing a light pink dress shirt and sandy colored trousers with a slim brown belt and brown leather shoes. His hair coiffed and spiked. Elijah on the other hand looks like a rocker, ripped skinny jeans and an oversized singlet top with black converses. It's quite a contrast. I notice as he walks in he's holding Elijah's hand and he looks happy.

"Teddy, you look different," I say

His face drops a little, "Good different though, Mrs. Grey?" responds Elijah

"Yes, son," I smile

The atmosphere picks up in the room when I respond. The now familiar sound of Dancing with a broken heart begins to sound. Elijah's phones ringing, he moves away to answer. Teddy and I gather the suitcases and bring them into the main room. I needed this break, he needed this break, and we all needed it.

"Uhmm, Mrs. G. We may have a problem. That was Christian wondering where you guys were and he sounded pissed. How did he end up with my number?" The fact that Elijah had just called me Mrs. G or the fact that Christian ended up with his number is irrelevant. Panic automatically overcomes Theodore and I. We both now know that Christian could rock up any minute. We hastily get our bags and rush to the taxi that I ordered whilst I was packing. Thankfully there's a flight to Atlanta in just over an hour and we can commute to Carla's from there.

When we arrive at the airport. Everyone's on edge. Paranoid that Christian's lurking about somewhere. God, this is my husband not fucking Jack Hyde! I just need a break._ Stay cool Grey, Stay Cool. _Theodore clasps onto my hand and leads me into the terminal. "Shit, what if Christian knows we're leaving. All the possibilities begin to accumulate and this is starting to feel like a bad dream. "Mom, don't worry. We'll be okay," says Teddy as if to have read my mind.

Forty-five minutes later we're on the plane. We've decided to fly economy in order to stay under the radar. The rows are tightly wedged and the stench from the man behind me is almost unbearable. Teddy's fallen asleep with his head rested on Elijah's shoulder. Elijah's reading a book. I recognize it's cover as Jane Austen's Emma. He likes to read? I think to myself.

"You're okay, Elijah. You're okay,"

"Pardon, Mrs G.? "

"You make him happy. That's all that matters. Besides you seem like a well educated polite young man and you two look good together,"

"Oh. . . Thanks Mrs G. "

"Call me, Ana. " I say giving him a brief smile.

He continues reading his book. The drama of the day has tired me and I too soon drift into a sleep. When I wake I'll be in Georgia hopefully, away from this shit, away from Fifty. That's a thought I'd never thought I'd have.


	10. Phoebe's Uprise

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! Enjoy this chapter x **

We arrived in Georgia early this morning. I peer out of the kitchen window. The boys are sitting outside lounging by the pool. Teddy looks so much like his father. He's wearing black swimming trunks and ray bans. Elijah on the other hand is dressed more femininely wearing white sailor style shorts and a broad brimmed hat. It's safe to say we all recognize who the woman in the relationship is. Theodore seems happy with Elijah boasting all of Elijah's achievements to Mom and Bob. He seems so carefree. Mom's apparently not shocked by Theodore's latest news. Supposedly she had the feeling all along. All she seems to be commenting on is Elijah's amazing fashion sense and her hopes that it'll rub off on Teddy. My mind keeps wandering to Phoebe. Although now that Teddy's safe, Phoebe isn't and I have no way of finding out about her wellbeing. I asked Carla to call Kate and let her know that we're safe, but still every moment I'm worried sick about my poor baby girl.

Fear of Christian is also another reason for my spiked anxiety. How pathetic am I? I'm afraid of my own fucking husband. I resist the urge to break down. It seems like that's all I've been doing lately. I need to stand up for myself, if not for me than my children. I just wish I could have the Fifty I use to know back; the Fifty who although, controlling and protective wasn't a stalker maniac. The calling of my cell interrupts my thoughts. Shit, I thought I'd turned it off. Walking over to my handbag on the kitchen bench, I take it out. Panic begins to overtake all of my nerve endings. What if it's Christian?

When I build up the courage to peak at the caller ID I'm relieved to know its Kate. I answer.

"Ana, baby. Where are you? Is Phoebe there?" Shit! It's Christian. What do I say! What do I do? Holy God. Out of complete impulse I hang up and shove my phone back into my Prada bag as quickly as possible. Does that mean he can track me now? No, Kate wouldn't let him do that. Why was he calling off Kate's phone? Shit. Shit. Shit. Be cool, Grey. Be cool.

"Fuck!" I scream as loudly as possible and put my head into my hands. I lean onto the bench top resting my arms on it. Almost instantly, Teddy and Elijah have run into the kitchen soon followed by a hobbling Mom and Bob. "Mom! What's wrong?" I shake my head as if to want to reject what's just happened. Peering up to Teddy I explain what's just happened. He just very calmly nods in taking every word. "Wait, Mom. Did you say he asked where's Phoebe?" I'd been too caught up in the fact he'd call to have thought of that. "Shit. Teddy, where's Phoebe!"

Every motherly instinct in my body was now screaming at me. My subconscious was glaring at me through her half moon glasses. Maybe, I really am a bad mother as if to have read my thoughts Mom walks around the bench and hugs me. "Darling, you're a brilliant mother," her words don't register though. I have to go back to Seattle. I have to find Phoebe.

I sprint to the bedroom. Grab my suitcase and chuck it on the bed throwing in everything I'd taken out. Within minutes, I'm packed and ready to leave again. At least Theodore will be okay here. I walk into the kitchen to retrieve my handbag. No one is in here. I walk around the corner into the living room. Teddy's sitting with Elijah on the couch whilst Bobs outside with a taxi. Who's Mom talking to? Mom notices my presence and moves aside. Holy crap. I instantly run up to her and hug her, not letting go for several minutes.

"Phoebe! How'd you get here!" I say trying to choke back tears of joy.

She doesn't reply. She just leads me to the couch gesturing for me to sit down.

"Well, It's a long story actually. When Kate found out you guys had gone she went to the house and gathered my things, bought me a plane ticket, Aunty Kate did everything. I'm still confused with how she evaded Dad but anyway, she came over to John's saying she was taking me out shopping. Next thing I know we're driving to the airport and she's explaining what's happened on the way. To be honest, Mom I'm glad I'm here,"

"So, your father doesn't know you're here?"

"Nope," Fuck. Christian's probably a mess.

"I'm glad you're here, darling,"

"I'm glad to be here, Mom. I feel good, honestly."

I can't help but think her being away from help is a bad thing but she says she's okay. She looks bright and happy. She manages to look beautiful in a long white maxi dress with a brown belt and lots of bracelets and bangles regardless of the fact, she has no hair and cuts all over her wrist. I assume that's what the bracelets are for. The thought of her hurting herself is one I never want to revisit. I know her and I will have to discuss the pregnancy eventually, but for now I want to remain happy at the fact my children are safe.

"Well, now that all the excitements over. Let's eat!" Bob hollers

Bob's cooked us a barbeque. It feels good. The simplicity of it all and the coziness of family, we all chip in. Phoebe and Elijah set the table whilst Teddy helps Bob with the meat and I help Mom with the salads. Normalcy should be well . . . normal but in the grey family it's an alien feeling. We all gather around the table in the backyard. The Georgia sun beaming down on us, at the moment you'd have thought nothing had been wrong with Phoebe. She's acting her age talking about the latest trends with Elijah. He's giving her tips on how to extenuate her curves but soon stops when he realizes I'm scowling.

"Sorry Mrs. G," he says apologetically

"Mom, I was thinking could we go horse riding tomorrow? All of us including Carla and Bob!" Her eyes light up in glee

"Sweetie, that's a fine idea but Bob and I we aren't that young. We'll come watch or wait while you go riding, dear," Mom smiles whilst Bob returns to eating. It looked like he almost had a coronary at the thought of riding a horse. I remember when I was younger about twenty-five and the kids were only young. We'd decided to go riding and a draft horse decided to do its "business" on Bob. The thought makes me giggle and smile.

"What are you smiling about Mom?" asks Phoebe. I soon go on to explain the story and everyone ends up in hysterics besides Bob. He has a mean look on his face as if we'd all wounded him. God, I love my family. Our laughing is soon cut off by the sound of Elijah's phone. I reckon I could know almost every word of the chorus to Dancing with a Broken Heart based on that ringtone alone. Elijah seems to be quite popular and always on the phone. It reminds me of Christian. My Fifty, what happened to you?

"Sorry about that. It was my Mom," he says smiling

After dinner we all retreated inside. The harsh Georgia heat was starting to turn us all the color of the old playroom. Inside the boys started talking about baseball. Carla and Teddy were in deep conversation about college. I decided now was the time to strike and ask Phoebe all the questions.

"Phoebe, come with me please," I take her hand directing her to the bedroom. Sitting on the side of the bed I can tell she's nervous, "Don't be scared, sweetheart. Just tell me please? No more secrets."

"Oh . . . Mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's not like I wanted this to happen. Just, it was a mistake you know? I killed it, Mom. Dad was so angry. He went on this rant about the dishonored I brought to the family and that you'd be disappointed. I never wanted to do it Mommy," she begins to sob and in between sobs continues telling me all about what's happened. God, she's so vulnerable.

When she finishes crying I lift her head up, "It's okay, sweetie. It's okay. I love you," truthfully, it was far from it. I knew from what she had said. I had to leave Christian, not temporarily, permanently. For the sake of my children, I had to leave the man I loved.


	11. Healing

**I'm so touched but what you guys are saying! I won't be stopping! You guys have no revived my motivation! What you read next may piss a few of you off but if you continue reading you'll love what I have planned later on. This family needs to heal. The question is will they heal with or without a CG? **

"Phoebe, darling. Would you please go and get Theodore and tell him to come in here please?"

She stands and walks outside. Will they be shocked? How will I tell Christian? In the pit of my stomach everything begins to feel horrid. The love I have for my children will never equate to the love I have for Christian. They are my priority. I keep repeating this thought in my head in order to stop myself from taking back the decision. Phoebe returns with Theodore who's had yet another change of wardrobe, he's now wearing a pair of white trousers and no top. He looked so grown up. I don't expect him to be too rocked by this news but still the their reaction is worrying me.

"What's up, Mom?" he says enthusiastically

"Sit," I order

Phoebe sat on the end of the bed next to me, crossed legged yet another reminder that although she's been through so much she's still young and vulnerable. Teddy sits directly across from me in an armchair. I grip onto both their hands. Taking a deep breath before delivering my message, "I'm leaving your father," Silence hangs in the air. I can only assume their trying to gather their thoughts. Theodore's the first to speak, he gives me an accepting half smile, "It's okay, Mom. It's okay," Phoebe's still silent.

Noticing my inner angst and disorder Teddy stands and hugs me. I return the hug. Phoebe soon rises too and joins the hug. This moment in embrace with my two children is heavenly at the moment. I take her hug as her acceptance of what's going to happen. Phoebe walks out of the room followed by Teddy. Their moods from before have visibly shifted but I can't decipher what it is melancholy? Surprise? I don't know.

Walking back into the main living area, I pull my mother aside and tell her what I've decided. She too changes with my news, but being the supportive mother she is. She's sticking by me. Everyone soon assembles in the kitchen discussing what we'll do this afternoon. It's nearing three o'clock. Phoebe's quiet for the first time since she's arrived. Teddy's rather disinterested in the conversation. Elijah just shrugs at me as he tries to lift Teddy's mood.

"Right, enough of this. We're going riding! There's one last trail this afternoon at five just before the sunsets. Go get dressed now!" I feel like a little kid again as my mother orders me around, but I cherish the feeling.

I retreat to the bedroom. Of all the questions that should be bothering me right now all I can think about is what to wear? I'm undecided. There's a knock at the door. "Come in," I holler

It's Elijah. He's dressed in white jeans, black boots and a blue V-neck shirt. You'd had thought he'd just stepped out of a photo-shoot or something. He's staring at me as I examine the clothes strewn across my bed. "Having trouble Mrs. G?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Just deciding what to wear, Elijah. By the way if you give me a nickname don't you think I should give you one? What about Jah-Jah! " I say enthusiastically. His dislike soon becomes apparent stepping forward into the room. He starts looking at the clothes on my bed.

"Sure, Mrs. G. but not Jah-Jah. What about Eli?" he smiles

"Eli – I like it," this is most playful he and I have ever been. He's a good kid Elijah. I didn't realize but by the end of the conversation Elijah's set out an ensemble on the bed. I turn to him raising an eyebrow, "I'm impressed," I say. "No worries, Mrs. G. I'd better go now whilst you get changed." He leaves.

Wow. I know we're only going horse riding but what he's laid out for me really is impressive. I stare at myself in the mirror eyeing up and down at my attire. I'm wearing white jeans, brown boots and a flowing orange kaftan style top. _Thumbs Up Grey! _

An hour later we've arrived at the horse-riding site. Beautiful horses are in paddocks of green. The suns calmed from its harsh assault. There's a gentle breeze. It's so serene and reminds me of the meadow at home. I never really like horses all that much, but Phoebe loves them so I bite my fear back and remind myself I'm doing this for her. Phoebe skips ahead of us all as we stroll towards the front office. It's a timber house and on both sides of it are horses ready to ridden. I look at the draft horse and pray to god I am not given that one. Phoebe and Carla go inside while the rest of us admire the horses. I'm patting a beautiful palomino mare. Maybe horses aren't that bad. Then . . . she decided to ruin the moment by doing a nice big crap. Gross.

Phoebe and Carla are walking back out of the timber house and my jaw almost hits the floor. He's gorgeous. Elijah looks at me with his chin on the floor as well. He must be as gob smacked as I. He has to be at least six foot; he's around my age and built. He's wearing a checkered button up shirt and dark blue jeans with brown riding boots.

"Hi, I'm Bill," he smiles at me with his hand out

I snap out of my thoughts, "Uh, Hi. I'm Ana," I go onto to introduce the rest of the family. After mounting the horses I'm pleased when I'm put on a very slow and candid bay mare named Misty. We're navigating rolling hills of green. The breeze is still gentle and the smell of wildflowers is heavenly. The children are up ahead on three horses that look like absolute monsters. Bill's up ahead with them. They're all laughing. God, I love the sound of there laughs and what an ass. Shit, I'm still married technically. _Bad thoughts Grey! _

Soon, Bill's slowing down and is now riding next to me. "So, what brings you to Georgia?"

"Oh, just family," I say trying to remain cool

"Look, Bill. I'm married," shit. I didn't mean to blurt that out! But it's true I am married and way too emotionally unstable. It wouldn't be fair to the kids either if I already started to flirt with another man. Not that I could bring myself to do it anyway with the constant thought of Christian looming around the back of my head.

"Well, that's good to know ma'am. Your husband is one mighty lucky man. Where's your ring? "

"Oh . . . uhmm,"

"Your mighty fine to be so unsure and upset," I think he's trying to flirt. No. Christian is still my husband and although we're having issues right now I love him. Yes, I know I'm leaving him but that's for my children's sake. The inner battle wages on and intensifies.

"Sorry, Ma'am. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," noticing my discomfort Teddy's slowed and is now on the other side of me. Bill takes it that it's his cue and rides up ahead

"I still love him, Theodore,"

"I know, Mom. I know,"

**No, this is not turning into a cheating story. I just wanted to reiterate the fact that although their separating she still loves him. Why is there no Christian? This is their time to heal without CG. XO **


	12. The Painful Goodbye

Yesterday's horse riding was a surprise. I hadn't thought it would be as much fun as it was. The serenity and normality of it all was like one piece of the dismantled jigsaw puzzle had been figured it out. Although Phoebe's fessed up a considerable amount about everything that happened there's still so many unanswered questions. What did Christian do to get her to the clinic? Or even how did she get pregnant? I fear asking the questions. Purely because it's not a subject I like addressing although I know its importance and secondly out of fear of Phoebe's reaction.

The rest of the gang are scattered throughout the house. By the smell lingering in the air, I'd say Phoebe was painting her nails and by the screams from the living room, I think the boys are watching the football. I really do need to talk to Christian and tell him the decision I've made. I retrieve my wedding rings from my bag and fiddle with them in my hand. _Stop procrastinating Grey. _I've had my phone off for the last few days since Christian tried to call. He hasn't come barging through the front door yet so I assume that's a good sign. When I turn it back on there's a flooding of text messages from numerous people.

Kate:

**Where are you?**

**Are you okay?**

**Phoebe should be there soon.**

**Please reply. **

**Shit Anastasia! FUCKING REPLY!**

Elliot:

**Grey, you all right? Christian's been calling.**

**Ana, seriously. Where the fuck is my nephew and niece? **

**ANASTASIA! THIS IS SERIOUS. WHERE ARE YOU!**

Christian:

**Ana, are you still at John's? Reply ASAP**

**Where are you? I called Kate you aren't with her.**

**Anastasia where are my fucking children!**

**I swear to god, if you don't reply. I'll go ballistic!**

**Please, Ana. Where are my children? Where are you? I'm so worried. Please,**

In between the numerous concerned text messages are messages from employees at Grey Publishing and other random friends. I need to call Christian. I dial his number. My heartbeat quickens and I close my eyes awaiting his answer. Almost immediately he picks up,

"Ana . . .? "

I'm silent. I don't know what to say. I take a deep breath.

"Christian . . . "

"Oh my god Ana, baby! Where are you? Where are the kids please? " I hear the desperation in his voice as he pleas with me.

"We're in Georgia,"

"But Kate said she'd already rung your Mom and you weren't there?"

Good cover story Kate.

"Christian, I need to talk to you . . . "

"I know, baby. I know. I'll fly out to Georgia immediately and see you and the kids okay?"

"No, Christian. I'll fly to you. The kids are staying here with Carla; they're enjoying a holiday with their grandma. " I lied. They weren't enjoying a holiday they were enjoying being far away from him.

"Okay, well. I'll see you later tonight then?"

"I'll come immediately,"

"I love you, Ana. We'll figure this out,"

Without returning the I love you, I hang up. How is it that he managed to stay so cool about the situation? Like nothing had happened? We've all made mistakes but he more than others. I begin to pack my things. Doing so, I book a flight. Now that Christian knows where we are I don't need to stay under the radar so no more stinking fat men in economy.

In thirty minutes my bags are packed and I've quickly managed to restrain my hair. I'm wearing a navy sweater dress and dark brown leather boots. I look myself up and down in the mirror. _Oh how you've changed Grey. _Picking up my suitcase I drag my suitcase into the living room. Simultaneously all eyes are on me.

"Where are you going Mom? " Phoebe says midway in between painting her little toe

"I need to see your father, "

"We'll go with you, " Teddy chops in from the couch

"No, I need to see him alone dear," he and Phoebe both understand why. Elijah's offered to drive me to the airport. I say my goodbyes and am soon leaving behind the security of my family to face my unruly husband. So many emotions are stirring in side of me. On the flight home I run myself through all the possible scenarios. What Christian could do or possibly what he's already done?

I arrive in Seattle about five o'clock in the evening. The sun's soon to start it's decent. Collecting my bag I go to hail a taxi but standing directly across from me is Christian. Wearing a navy suit it all becomes apparent how the recent events have taken their toll on him. He walks over to me. Leans down to kiss me but I turn my head suddenly so he ends up kissing my cheek. I can see the shock in his face when I do.

"Hi," he says

"Hi. " I respond

"Let's go home,"

He holds his hand out as if to want to take mine to direct me to the car. I don't take his gesture. I simply nod, "Lead the way, " he frowns in disappointment. Once were in the car the awkward silence sets in. He places his hand on top of mine but I soon pull it from his grasp. I can see his eyes examining my hand. Has he noticed I'm not wearing my rings?

"Where are your wedding bands?" he says

"In my bag,"

"Ana, I . . . please, don't. I beg you, Ana. Don't."

I continue to peer out the window. I reply without looking at him "You forced our daughter into an abortion! You drove our family to this point!" I begin to shout at him.

"I had my reasons, Ana,"

"I'm sure out daughter did too,"

"Please, Ana. Let's think about this. Don't do this to me,"

"You know what Christian this isn't about you. This is for me and our children, "

"I love you, Ana."

"It's to bad I don't anymore,"

Shit. I didn't mean that! Oh god. He turns immediately withdrawing his phone from his pocket. He dials it. "Yeah, tell Green to ready the settlement papers . . . no this isn't a joke. Fucking do it you jackass!"

I now realized this was the end. The end of Christian and I.

**So, Guys. I have a question. I'm going to let you guys decide on what's to happen next. Which character would you like to see more from Paula or Bill? Answer in either your review or private message me, whichever character gets more votes will be seen more of. The other character will soon be written off. Kgo. X**


	13. Paula saves the day again

**Paula wins! Although you don't see alot of Paula in this. You will begin to see more of her as the story progresses. She'll soon be as influential as Kate. Enjoy x **

Christian hangs up the phone. All I want to do is break down and cry but I can't be weak not in front of Christian. I'm doing this for my children. My children need salvation. Christian sighs heavily. Neither of us will look each other in the eye,

"Escala please, Christian."

"Ana, please. Come home, at least I'll know where you are and that you'll be safe,"

That was a Fifty I was use to; a sweet protective Christian who although was wary wasn't overbearing. I couldn't go home though. The longer I was in his presence the more I'd question my decision,

"I'd better go to Escala, Christian," My tone is impassive

"As you wish," his tone is despondent. I think it's dawn on him this is a battle lost and from the corner of my eye I catch sight of Christian's face, a single tear has managed to escape and streams down the side of his brilliant complexion falling onto his shirt. My subconscious is screaming inside me _Hug him! Don't cry Christian! _ But instead I just pretend to be ignorant.

When we arrive at Escala. Christian follows me into the elevator. The memories of when I was younger invade my thoughts all the times I shared with Christian in here from sweet to sexy, this elevator was like a time capsule. The doors of the elevator opened and I walk out first followed by Christian. Unsurprisingly still neither of us spoke. All you could hear was the sound of my shoes against the floor.

I ignored what Christian was doing in the main living area and headed straight for the bedroom. Slamming the door all I wanted was to be away from him. How is it that I could be so god damn angry with him but still be so sad and love him! With that thought my ability to choke back my emotion's had dwindled. I slid down the door and begin to cry. I wrapped my arms around my knees and pulled them in close. If only I could condense myself to disappear from the world temporarily. _Why Fifty Why? _

There was a knock at the door. I quickly compose myself peering into the mirror quickly I wipe my eyes not that it'll hide the fact I've been crying. Opening the door there's no one there. There is however, a box. I pick up the box. It's simple and black. Opening the box I withdraw the note inside,

**_What happened to forever and always? _**

Beneath the note was the keychain. A keychain I hadn't seen in almost twenty years. I recognized it as the keychain I'd given to him when I wanted to marry him. My heart sank to the bottom of my chest. Taking the box inside I put it on the side table and changed into a pair of jeans and a black silk shirt with black heels. I needed to get out. I couldn't remain here whilst Christian was still here. As I walk down the corridor I hear the sound of the piano. It's such a sad sound. On top of the piano is a bottle of whiskey. He's obviously closed the top to not disturb me. I purposely disregard him and continue to stroll to the elevator,

"Ana, where are you going?" I hear the concern in his voice

"Out,"

His face drops at my response. Was he expecting more? I mean, we're divorcing this is how it had to be now. With that I forward to elevator and descend. I choose not to use one of the Grey cars and opt for a taxi instead. I need to detach myself from all things Christian Grey if I can do this with my heart and perhaps even head still in tact.

I soon arrive at the bar. Why is it I seem to retreat here these days? The smell of orange scented hardwood floor wax hangs in the air. Pulling out a stool, I plant myself at the bar.

"You, again. Jeez, he must really be an asshole?" Paula says grinning. "Soon, to be ex asshole," she raises an eyebrow at my statement and as if to read my thoughts, she pours me a drink. Hard liquor is definitely what I need. "In the words of Big Momma, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than with bad company for second." I form a wry smile at her "Hold on a second, Grey." She walks down to the end of the bar to a stunning blonde headed girl wearing tight denim shorts and a black singlet with black cowboy boots. She has a tattoo sleeve composed of all different things from roses to angels and even a skull. If I only I looked like that, long gone are the days when Grey can look sexy. Paula returns with the Blonde. "Ana meet Misty," I shake her hand courteously, "So is this your sister?" They both immediately end up in hysterics. "If we were sisters it would incest," says Misty in between laughs. Paula's gay . . . well, I never saw that coming.

Misty pulls up a stool next to me whilst Paula finishes serving other customers. Misty reminds me a lot of Kate when I was younger. She's very confident and self-assured. In between downing whiskey we talk about what she does for work and how she met Paula. Misty seems like someone I've known forever.

"Ana, Phoebe will be okay. Trust me, I was sixteen and fell pregnant. It was a stupid decision first try gone wrong. I didn't know who to look to or where to go. My father would've kicked me out. I ended up aborting. At first it'll be hard but eventually she'll be okay,"

"I hope so, Misty. I really do. So . . . one question. Is Misty like short for something?"

"Yeah, Mystique. I know weird name my parents were into the whole unique baby names bullshit," I notice Paula's stacking barstools and wiping benches. Shit, is it really that late? Paula walks back towards us. " Time to close up you lot," she says smiling. I say goodbye to them both.

Hailing another cab it's one in the morning before I arrive home. In the cab I called Mom to see how the kids were doing. Apparently Phoebe and Theodore are arguing over a goldfish they had when they were two. Got to love Grey Children. I'm rising in the elevator and when the doors open all I can hear is screaming.

"Fuck up! You're a stupid fucking asshole pathetic cunt Grey!" When I walk through the foyer. I gasp bringing my hands up to my mouth in shock. Christians holding a baseball bat and repetitively he swings it full force into his piano. _Oh god Fifty,Fifty_, _Fifty . . . _

_**Vote time again! Your time to vote again, inbox or private message me if you'd like to see more of Misty and Paula's relationship. Kgo! x **_


	14. Answers

**No more about the Paula and Misty relationship but don't fret you will have reprisals from them more from Paula than Misty. May I just say some of your reviews and messages have deduce me to tears. I'm so happy at how much you guys like this. Having English as a second language and this being my first fan fiction I was so afraid but you guy are making it worth it! Hope y'all ready for chapter fourteen considering at the end of chapter thirteen Christian's going ballistic. Hint: Because of this chapter I've had to boost up the classification for my story ;) I mean, you couldn't honestly think I would've let this whole thing go down without more of an emotional rollercoaster. Enjoy! X **

What has he done? This was anger and rage like I'd never seen it but intertwined was also guilt and sadness. In between his violent swings were sobs and the sound of breaking keys. Dropping my handbag on the floor, I just ran; straight into the firing line. I stood in front of Christian. The smell of liquor was evident but I knew he was sober enough to maintain conversation. In surrender, he dropped the bat and abruptly he fell to the floor. On his knees in front of me he had his head in his hands and was screaming through tears. What I had I done? I've broken the man I love and deduced him to a state I'd never seen before. I mean, in extreme circumstance he'd cry but not like this.

Impulsively, I run to his side, lowering to his level I wrap my arms around. He tried to push me off but I just gripped on tighter. Eventually he gave in and succumbed to my embrace, soon turning to return my hug, he placed his head on my shoulder. His tears now streaming down my shirt. I felt them and every time I did. My heart broke in confliction. Was leaving him really best for me? Or my children?

I glance down and notice his white linen shirt is almost translucent from the mixture of split liquor and tears, his chest and the scars from his past visible through the material. Where did I go wrong? I continue to cradle him for several minutes. Just he and I nestled together on the floor of Escala in a sea of debris.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I'm so sorry," he whispers

I bring my middle finger down and place it against his lips gesturing for him to be silent. Reaching up he grabs my index finger and grasps my hand between his. I release from his grip and stand. Reaching for his hand I bring him to his feet with a swift pull. Turning I retreat to the bedroom. God, I hope I'm doing the right thing. I guess, I got to try and do it right this time around because it's not over.

Walking out Christian's leaning against the floor to ceiling windows. His hair tussled, a perfect concoction of both grey and copper. He's my Fifty and I won't let that go. This love is killing me but he's the only one. He turns when he realizes I'm behind him but only to walk over to kitchen where there's yet another bottle of whisky waiting for him.

"Christian . . . "

"Ana."

Over on the bench are two pens and a stack of paper's I can only assume that's the settlement. In true Grey style his lawyers or possibly Carrick had it done as soon as possible. I sigh at the sight. Avoiding the paperwork I walk to the kitchen and grab a glass and pour myself a glass of whiskey too. I sit down on the barstool next to him. He watches me continually. Sitting down on the bar stool next to him, I pick up the paperwork and read over it. _Ha, _and in one swift motion I tear it up. His eyes are wide.

"What you aren't happy with the arrangement? I've given you everything, Ana. What else do you want? " He says with a frown

I raise my left hand and his eyes widen even more. In a funny yet completely serious way he raises his eyebrow at the sight of my wedding bands. After seeing him on the floor completely deduced I realized he too was hurt and vulnerable. Our family needs to heal together not separately. I can't do this to him and I won't. Paula's words keep repeating in my mind, _We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences but it does not mean we're evil or that we cannot be trusted afterward. _Moving forward I clutch the back of his head and kiss him on the lips, "Forever and always, " I whisper.

He smiles against my lips and traces his hands around my back. "Always," he repeats, pulling me in closer. His shoulder's slump with relief as he embraces me. I can feel the press of his body against mine, muscles still hard and smooth, even after all these years. Christian's body is warm and comforting and I find myself remembering how many times I had curled up to his side after a night in his bed. The unrelenting troubles of recent washed away as he deepened the kiss. His tongue invaded my mouth as I returned the fiery kiss' passion with equivalent force. I felt his hands moving around my back, they glided over the silk before finding my posterior and grasping.

His right hand remained firm around my backside as his left moved gracefully up my body stimulating the skin it passed. He planted soft sensual kisses along my neck whilst undoing my silk shirt. _Shit, what underwear are you wearing today, Grey! _In a matter of moments, my shirt had fallen off and pooled around my ankles revealing a black bra with fine lace trimming. His hands equally as quickly managed to take my bra off. I was now in an amorous kiss with Christian, shirtless, wanting him, needing him. I can hear his breath hitch in his throat as I stroke him through the fabric of his pants, agonizingly slowly, feeling him stiffen under my fingertips. I giggle, unable to hold it in. It's rare that I get such a power over him, and when I do, it is a great sensation.

A flush of warmth runs through me like fire as I remember the early days of our relationship, the exploration of kinks and boundaries, the touch of skin on skin, the feeling of his lips running over every inch of my body, making me feel things in places I never knew I could feel. The intimacy in our relationship had diminished immensely in recent times but this fire; this heat was certainly one way to reignite the sparks we'd once had. I brought my hands up to his shirt and began to unbutton it but in complete hunger ripped it with full force and need. He raised his eyebrow and smirked, beneath my kiss. Bringing his hands up to my posterior he lifted me wrapping my legs around him to cling to him he slowly moved over to the couch before gently placing me down.

I lay shirtless on the couch completely turned on as he took off his shoes and undid his jeans in the most arousing fashion. His desire for me now visible, he returned and sat astride. I moan when his erection comes into contact with my core, now fully long and erect. He bites my earlobe, traces a tongue skillfully around it. "You have no idea what you do to me, Ana," he rasps. "Oh, I think I do," I say back, looking down, then back up at him. He smirks and shakes his head. His hands are moving lower cupping my sex. He skilfully runs his fingers around the skin. Sensitizing the area that is already ready and wanting him to fill me. In complete shock, he jumps off me and runs into the study. What the fuck! _Come back!_My subconscious is screaming as I sit hit naked on the couch in complete desire of my husband.

Within moment's he returns with a foil packet in his hand, _oh! _Rolling the condom onto his erection he soon returns to me and I feel him fill me. Simultaneously, I begin to move beneath him, bringing myself to meet him and slowly we move. This was making love and I did _love _Christian. Sure we had some problems that needed fixing but all families have demons and as a family we will fix them. I could feel the intensity building inside of me, I let of a slight moan as he brought his hands around breasts to massage them sensually as he moved inside me. His hands circled my breasts synonymously of his hip movements and I felt my nipples elongate with his expert touch. After the long push and pull of our love making my body began to tense as I reached my climax and in one finishing push, I felt it there and collapsed around him with one final push he too exploded inside of me. Withdrawing, he took off the condom and tied it in a knot. He stood and walked to the bin dropping the condom inside. As he returned naked, I saw the man I loved. I saw the passion and care in his eyes.

He returned the couch. His hand's reached down and in one swoop I was in his arms. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder as he carried me towards our old bedroom. Supporting my back he slowly placed me down on the bed before walking around and getting in on the other side. Propping myself up on my elbow I turned to face him. We needed to talk and I couldn't wait for answers any longer,

"Christian, I . . . "

He stops me mid sentence. "Ana, I know baby. I know you need answers and I'm prepared to answer them but only if in return you forgive me for my mistakes. Losing you is hard. Losing my children is harder. Please, forgive me." There was desperation in his voice and a sorrow in his grey eyes.

"Till death do us part," I say with a smile and in front of me. He brings his lips up to meet mine.

"Now answers, Christian,"

"Turn around, Grey," I turn around and feel him press his body into mine, bringing his arms around me in an embrace. "Did Phoebe tell you how she fell pregnant? Who the father was? What the baby was up for? Ana . . . bringing that baby into the world wasn't fair," Unease grew inside me and my insides clench having this conversation made me feel uncomfortable. "I took her to the clinic when I found out. I wanted to help her Ana. After the ultrasound and the test all was good . . . " I felt the reign of bad news coming, "Ana, the doctor pulled me aside afterwards. She would've died giving birth. So I made a decision, my daughter or her unborn child." I couldn't fathom all that I had just been told.

"Ana, I didn't force her. I persuaded her using every ounce of my ability, but I didn't force her. During this entire thing, my thoughts kept racing back to Teddy and what if I had made you do that to him all those years ago? It was she or the baby. I love my daughter, Ana and so do you. I'm sorry,"

Everything inside me broke down. Was I angry, sad, happy, and confused? I couldn't translate how I felt right now. I simply turned my head and kissed Christian in silence before closing my eyes and drifting into sleep. Answers, finally.


	15. The Right Decision

Hey Guys,

So after further decision and your input, I have decided to delete the original chapter 15. This is the replacement chapter 15. I've incorporated bits of the original chapter 15 within it though. I also deleted the little update so for those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about basically I wrote myself into a crappy story and was disgusted by it and let my readers suggest what course of action I should take to rectify it. Thanks so much guys for understanding.

I can't sleep. Staring out the floor to ceiling window, my mind keeps drifting to thoughts of my children. Phoebe was pregnant, Theodore's gay; so much has happened. This is the calm after the storm but in the pit of my stomach I feel as though the storms brewing again.

The sun has just finished it's ascension. Christian's spread out beside me. He looks so vulnerable. Regardless of the charade I put on, I never truly will be able to comprehend how he can go from volatile to vulnerable in a matter of moments.

My subconscious is glaring at me, despising me for what I've just done. Once again, Anastasia Grey has gone weak . . . for an orgasm. I mentally slap myself. I shouldn't even feel conflicted. Christian or my children, it should be my children!

I bring my arm up and cover my face. What sort of fucking mother am I? I get up quietly trying not to wake Christian. I rummage through my bags and dress. I'm wearing a black shift dress and suede tan heels. My hair is disheveled. Sex hair never has been an attractive look on me. I grab the nearest hairbrush and try to tame the unruly mane. It'll have to do.

I decide to write Christian a note, explaining the sudden change. A feeling of rage takes over my body, not towards Christian, but towards myself. I re-read the note. It should be enough, I hope.

**Dear Christian, **

**They will always come first. My children come first. I love you but I love my children more. Fix this. I know you can. Find a new way. You've done it before you can do it again. Our children come first. **

**Forever and always, **

**Ana**

"Ana! "

Shit. Christian's awake. I make a getaway for the elevator, leaving the note on the kitchen island on the way. The metal of the elevator reflects and I see a woman I don't recognize. I see a woman who's willingly left the man she loves for the love of her children. _I need to do this. _ I repeat the mantra several times over as I make my way to the street. Thankfully early morning taxis are already looming. Just as the taxi pulls away I see Christian step out of the elevator. His face looks mortified. I notice the note clenched in his hand. _Fix this, Grey. _

"Where to ma'am? "

Where do I go? I could always go to Montesano but Ray would have a stroke knowing what's been going on, there's no flights to Georgia till the afternoon, going home is definitely out of the question, Escala, obviously not. I retrieve my phone from my bag and dial the only person, I know crazy enough to let me in at the moment.

"Hello,"

"Hi, Paula."

"Ana? What the hell? "

"I need help . . . "

"Meet me at the front of the bar in thirty minutes, Grey."

"Thank you,"

She hangs up. Regardless of the circumstances, Paula seems to be my best option at the moment. Jose would just want to kick Christian's arse and Kate, well, Kate stopped being the best friend and became the Aunt a long time ago.

I stand outside the bar, looking for Paula. The streets are beginning to fill with people heading to work. It's been almost forty minutes and she still isn't here. I filling of paranoia washed over and nervously check my phone continually out of fear she won't show.

"Hey Ana, sorry, I'm late," leaning in she kisses me on the cheek

Turning around, I see Paula. She's wearing a flowing white skirt and a tanned color camisole, a style I haven't yet seen on her yet but she still looks stunning.

"It's alright. Thank you for coming," I say with a smile.

"Oh cut the crap, Grey. Come on, you look like you need to talk."

Her house is small and cozy. Hanging on the pale yellow walls are pictures of her and her family as well as a few paintings, mostly landscapes.

"Right, so Ana let me get this straight. He said he made her abort because he **_had _**to and you believe him?" she says pouring a cup of tea.

I nod. She rolls her eyes at me. The tea taste perfect, it soothes me almost instantly.

"You believed that? You believe that he had no other option? But didn't you say Phoebe said Christian was going off at her? Who do you believe?"

"Phoebe, "

"Really, Grey?" she replies questionably.

"She's my daughter Paula. Of course, I believe her. " I say sternly

She sits down across from and places her hand on top of mine. The emotions inside of me begin to swell. Did I believe Phoebe?

"Maybe, I should leave Christian. . . " a single tear escapes as I struggle to say the words.

" Ana, look at me. " she grasps my hand tighter

"We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there are no right person, just different flavours of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person. Christian is your right wrong person, Ana. Theodore and Phoebe come first though and right now they need you. "

"Another quote, Paula?"

She grins. "Galway Kinnell, I believe.

"Ana, I may be younger but honestly, listen to me. I know my shit."

A knock at the door interrupts our discussion. Paula stands and goes to answer it. Meanwhile, I glance down at my phone. I have more missed calls for Christian, he is so obstinate it's not even funny.

"Yo Grey, you got a visitor. "

My body tenses. Every nerve ending in my body is shaking. Oh god, No. _What the fuck is she doing here? _

"Hey, Ana. "

"Hi, Kate." I mumur


	16. Update

Hey Guys,

This isn't a new chapter, it's just a note.

I know that I haven't uploaded in ages and it's probably irritating or I've lost some of you guys but I've just started my final stage of education and been so overwhelmed with school. I go on holidays in a few weeks (Fri, 12th of April) and I'm going to try and update the story then. I am not finished, there's still an epic conclusion coming. So please, don't give up on me.

In the meantime there's some more awesome fanfictions and even the original book!


End file.
